The Problem with “I”

A lot of our emotional problems come from our separate sense of self.  It seems everything related to “me” is so important.

Most people keep thinking about how to maximize “my” happiness and to achieve their ideal way of life.  But what does “my” happiness mean?  Does it mean that we can have a total control over our living conditions?  Does it mean living independently and free of worries?  If we think our happiness is the most important thing and is separate from the other’s happiness, we will eventually isolate ourselves from the others and even want to spend our lives alone.

“I” is composed of emotions, physical sensations, thoughts, perceptions and its relationship with the others.  In fact, there is no separate entity called “I”.  “I” alone cannot be happy unless “I” realize that it is interconnected with the others.  My happiness is also the happiness of the others’ happiness.

The true freedom is within ourselves, the space which no one can intervene, where we can travel through time and places.  This space is the true freedom that we have and everyone has it.  Whenever we feel lack of space or uneasy, just remember to go back to yourself and rest in this space.



NLP technique: Reducing the Intensity of Negative Emotions Instantly

When experiencing intense negative emotions, this technique can help you reduce its intensity instantly.

Technique: Association vs Disassociation

1.   Close your eyes.

2.   Pay attention to any images that you see with your mind’s eye.

3.   Do you see yourself in the image or are you looking at it from your own eyes? In the case of the latter, step outside of your body in the mental image. Make sure that you now see yourself in the new image.

4.   How do you feel?. Chances are you will not be  feeling the emotions as intensely.

NLP technique: Overcoming Fear/Worry/Anxiety

1.   Think of something that you are frightened of or worrying about. Make it something where the feeling is unpleasant, you are not sure what to do, and the feeling is getting in the way of your effective action.

2.   Imagine the situation and feel the feeling. Give it a label. It could be “fear”, “fright”, “anxiety” or “worry”.

3.   Now imagine that feeling in front of you. Look at it with your mental vision. What does it look, feel and/or sound like?

a.      Look

Colour:colour or black and white
Shape: Describe the figure
Depth: two or three dimensional
Size: large or small
Brightness: Bright or dark
Contrast: Well or poorly defined
Focus: Clear or blured
Movement: Still or moving
Speed: fast or slow
Location: up, down, front, left, right etc
b.     Sound

Does it have a sound?
Verbal or non verbal: words or sound. If words, what is it saying?
Direction: Stereo or mono
Volume: loud or soft
Tone: Soft or harsh
Clarity: Clear or muffled
Pitch: high or low
Speed: fast or slow
Duration: continuous or discontinuous
Location: up, down, front, left, right etc
c.      Feeling

Location: Where in the body is it located?
Texture: large or small
Weight: Light or heavy
Temperature: Hot or cold
Movement: Still or moving
3.   Now let it stream past you. Let it go over you, under you, and around you. Let it go through you and as it does, it will become like a wisp of smoke.

4.   As it streams around and through you, it will go behind you. Imagine that you can see I behind you disappearing faster and faster into the distance, until it melts into nothingness, as if it is being sucked down one of those enormous wind tunnels. There is nothing left. If you feel a little residue of the feeling, just put it in front of you again, face it, and repeat the process.

5.   Now feel you body solid and grounded. You remain. You are not this feeling, because you can separate yourself from it.


– Free Yourself from Fears: Overcoming Anxiety and Living Without Worry, Joseph O’ Connor 

Blog at

Up ↑