The Seventh Life Lesson: Do not pity yourself


Dear Baby Isabella (5 months old),

Now that the doctor said you are most likely a girl, I will call you Isabella. 🙂 As a mom, I will have a lot of hopes and dreams about you. But I can never control what kind of person you will become. You may have some qualities from mom and some from your dad. But you will never be exactly the same as we are. You may be born with your own tendencies, characters, intelligence and talents. You may have something that both mom and dad don’t have. That’s what makes parenting challenging and exciting.

No matter what qualities you have, do not pity yourself. Do not just look at things that you don’t have. Instead, make the best out of what you already have. You don’t have to be smart, beautiful or rich to be successful and happy. You just need to work hard, be responsible, be independent, compassionate and truthful. Besides, whether you are smart, beautiful, rich, etc, are just external values imposed by the society. Whether you are smart, beautiful or rich is all relative. You should never judge yourself based on how the others see you. Do not even let me and your dad determine who you are. How we see you is just a reflection of yourself, not the complete truth. You need to believe in yourself and be the best of who you are.

Self-pity is very handicapping and poisonous. When you feel sorry for yourself or let the others feel sorry for you, you will not be able to see and use your own strengths. This causes ignorance. Then you keep wanting more and more. This causes greed. You will feel that everyone in this world owes you something. This causes anger. The anger, greed and ignorance in you will eventually destroy you. And you cannot stand on your own feet and live fully.

Everyone of us is born with different abilities. But we are responsible for own happiness. A successful person is someone who can see and use these abilities to their fullest for the benefit of the society and one’s own happiness. What kind of person we have become are caused by all of the small and big decisions that we made in the past. There is nothing in this world called luck. Everything happens based on the natural cause and effect relationship. That’s why superstition comes from ignorance, the lack of understanding in this relationship.

Isabella, I wish you a successful and happy life in the future. Dad and I can’t wait to get to know you more. 🙂



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