The Tenth Life Lesson: Understand Anger

anger

Dear Bella,

Everyone has anger in the mind. Anger is a kind of strong energy that comes from unmet expectations. It starts from small irritations, like getting upset about not getting something that you want or getting something that you don’t want. Then these irritations accumulate and get stronger. As anger is a strong emotion, it is very easy to be noticed. It pushes us to punish the others because it causes so much pain in us.

The key to handle anger is not to get rid of it, but to understand it. The desire to get rid of it will add another layer of anger or turn the anger inside, which is guilt. So when it appears, we need to first acknowledge it. We don’t acknowledge it as “my” anger as it does not belong to us. And we don’t label ourselves as an angry person because everyone has anger inside. Whenever it arises, we just need to know that it is there and let it go. Then anger will reveal its true nature to us and become our greatest teacher.

Once we understand anger, it will not take over us. It will become just like other emotions that arises and falls away. We will know that there is no need to react to it or punish the others. We will take it less seriously. Anger will become like a visitor who does not stay long.

May mindfulness be with you,
Mom

 

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8 thoughts on “The Tenth Life Lesson: Understand Anger

  1. Wonderful… I hope I can live my life with your sentiments in my mind.. I suffer from anger issues and I cannot keep things in perspective when I see red… Thank you for your truths…

    • Thank you very much for your humble sharing. I believe that you are a very wise person too as you already know and acknowledge your anger. πŸ™‚ Everyone has anger issues, but most people don’t know it. My teacher once said those people who always see their anger can get enlightened easily. You actually have a gift. Anger is a strong emotion that can be observed easily. πŸ™‚ You have the power to turn compost into flowers. Whenever anger arises, you acknowledge it and let it go. Then the mind will be trained to acknowledge it faster until it can acknowledge even the small irritations before they turn into anger. Gradually you will detach from it. Good luck my friend.

      • Thank you! I just have the feeling that changing anything takes more than I’ve got. Like you can see a car crash when it’s just about to happen, sometimes in slow motion but it’s something you’re witnessing not something you’re a part of. I feel very out of control but this will come with age and practice and being less hot headed I guess.

      • Yes, you are absolutely right! πŸ™‚ Wow! You are a very good observer. We cannot force ourselves to change because the mind is non-self. We can only practice observing the mind, which will learn by itself naturally not to react to anger over time.

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