The Fourteenth Life Lesson: Letting go


Dear Bella,
I remember my teacher once told me that if we are on the right spiritual path, we will be able to let go more and more things.

When we were just born, we were attached to our parents, pleasures and pains. As we grow older, our ego grow stronger. We become more attached to our identity, like our social status, power, wealth, values and beliefs. These attachments lead us to keep thinking about “me” and “mine” all the time. They make us selfish, greedy, angry and ignorant.

Most of those people who have never practiced mindfulness are not aware of the suffering caused by these attachments. They may not know that they suffer. Or they know that they suffer but they don’t know the way out.

However, there are some extraordinary individuals, like Buddha, Jesus, Eckhart Tolle or Byron Katie, who became awakened from their dreams on their own because of immense suffering. They saw that their great suffering was totally inflicted by the mind and body. Then they realized that they were not the mind or the body. This realization helped them let go the mind and the body and achieve enlightenment.

For the rest of us, we have to keep learning through daily observation of ourselves. With dedication and compassion, we will gain wisdom and become awakened gradually.

When we start to awaken, we will become less interested in entertaining the negative thoughts. We become less interested in gossiping or arguing. We don’t want to get involved in any dramas which are just make-beliefs. We won’t be jealous of the others. We become more generous and let go our possessions easily.

Then we sense the space between the consciousness and the body and mind. We will be able to separate body sensations, thoughts, feelings, perceptions and consciousness. When we can see how these five things form a false sense of self and contribute to suffering, we will be able to let go and just be. Letting go simply means not to take the self seriously.

Later, we will see that all people in this world are really made of the same things. Through clear understanding of ourselves, we will see ourselves in the others. We start to see patterns of thoughts and behaviors. When we realize that we are the same as the others, there is no point of getting angry. We will stop making the others suffer and realize only compassion is the most sensible solution. It is because we are never separate from the others. We learn to forgive the others and ourselves.

I hope you will choose to live in wholesomeness in every moment. As I said before, happiness is a matter of choice.

Love you always,


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