Defining Toxic Relationships

It is hard to leave a relationship if you have already invested so much energy and effort in it. But everyone should have some deal breakers and strong boundaries that should be upheld for one’s wellbeing.

I once heard from Rori Raye that a toxic relationship is one in which both parties have a silent agreement that nothing is going to change. The couple may complain a lot about each other, but no one will make any change for a better future.

A toxic relationship can be in many forms:

1) Abusive relationship – Any physical, emotional or financial abuse is dangerous for one’s self esteem and health. This is a nonnegotiable deal breaker!

2) Silent relationship – No meaningful and positive communication exists anymore. Both parties or one partner is withdrawn. The couple is having separate lives.

3) Codependent relationship – It brings out the worst in both parties. No one grows emotionally and spiritually stronger.

4) Competitive relationship – There is a constant power struggle in the relationship. Both parties are competing to control each other or the family.

5) Noncommited relationship – It lasts for more than a year, but there is still no agreement on being exclusive and no plan for the future. Communication is inconsistent. It brings a lot of doubt, longing and pain.

In a healthy relationship, both parties should feel warm, safe and understood all the time. There may be some challenges along the way. But they manage to handle them with genuine communication and grow from them. If you are in a toxic relationship, really ask yourself whether it is worthwhile to give up happiness for a relationship.


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