I’d like to recommend a book written by a pediatrician called Harvey Karp. This book is packed with a bunch of clear and easy to follow techniques to raise a respectful, happy and strong toddler.
I have been working on how to cultivate good habits in Bella without yelling, spanking or any demeaning ways. This book suggested a fun and easy way to manage toddler’s behaviors by building respect and love between parents and children.
I have been using the first technique called FFR and Toddlerese for a while. It reduces a lot of conflicts and battles betwee my little one and I. FFR is the fast food rule, which means when talking to the kid, we need to acknowledge her feelings by repeating what she was expressing in 10 seconds. When the kid calms down, we can state what we want her to do and give her an option to choose from.
So let’s say Little Johnny wants ice cream before dinner, but mommy says no. And he starts throwing things. His mommy can kneel down until a little bit lower than his eye level. Then she says, “Johnny just says ‘ice cream, ice cream now’. But mommy says, ‘no ice cream now. Then Johnny feels mad… Really mad.” She can stomp her feet a few times to show the proper way to express anger. When Johnny calms a bit, his mommy says, “But no no… We don’t eat ice cream before dinner. Let’s eat dinner now. Do you want fried rice or noodle soup?”.
The more I practice, the easier this way of communication gets. I strongly recommend it to other moms. 🙂