The Happiest Toddler on the Block

I’d like to recommend a book written by a pediatrician called Harvey Karp. This book is packed with a bunch of clear and easy to follow techniques to raise a respectful, happy and strong toddler.

I have been working on how to cultivate good habits in Bella without yelling, spanking or any demeaning ways. This book suggested a fun and easy way to manage toddler’s behaviors by building respect and love between parents and children.

I have been using the first technique called FFR and Toddlerese for a while. It reduces a lot of conflicts and battles betwee my little one and I. FFR is the fast food rule, which means when talking to the kid, we need to acknowledge her feelings by repeating what she was expressing in 10 seconds. When the kid calms down, we can state what we want her to do and give her an option to choose from.

So let’s say Little Johnny wants ice cream before dinner, but mommy says no. And he starts throwing things. His mommy can kneel down until a little bit lower than his eye level. Then she says, “Johnny just says ‘ice cream, ice cream now’. But mommy says, ‘no ice cream now. Then Johnny feels mad… Really mad.” She can stomp her feet a few times to show the proper way to express anger. When Johnny calms a bit, his mommy says, “But no no… We don’t eat ice cream before dinner. Let’s eat dinner now. Do you want fried rice or noodle soup?”.

The more I practice, the easier this way of communication gets. I strongly recommend it to other moms. 🙂

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No Self

I felt enlightened by a conversation that I had with my mentor. She is a Buddhist nun who used to be a medical doctor. I asked her how to refresh my mindfulness practice and manage my negative emotions better. She said, “Emotions do not belong to you.” 

“When people talk, it’s just sounds. And we are sensing and listening to these sounds. Self is a delusion. When we feel threatened, this delusion gets threatened. When we feel angry, this delusion gets angry. Anger is Nama, not yours or mine.”

I felt relieved and less guilty after listening to the noble truths. 🙂 Hope they will help you too.

The Miracle Morning

 I just finished reading the book called The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I followed the 6-minute-miracle morning exercise and it really jump start my every day with a good mood! Ok so these are the things that I have been doing in the first 6 minutes of a day.

1. One minute silence (sitting meditation)

2. Set good intentions (be a kind, compassionate and patient teacher)

3. Do some stretching and power walk

4. Hydrate (drink 2 cups of warm water)

5. Send loving kindness to everyone and be grateful to what I have

6. Journal for a minute

I feel much alert and powerful after doing these activities in the morning. I just feel calmer and more purposeful throughout a day. Let me know if this work for you!

  

Three Minutes of Silence

When the students entered the classroom, they were chatty, pushing each other and ran around  for a while. We could feel that they were not ready to learn yet. They were very excitable. What should we do?

An easy way to draw back their attention is to practice three minutes of mindful breathing. If the students are younger than 10 years old, one minute maybe good enough. While practicing mindful breathing, the children can sit upright with eyes closed so that they won’t feel drowsy. They can observe the rising and falling of the tummy or put their attention on their noses. After three minutes of mindful breathing, especially in the last period, students felt more energized and refreshed. 

  
Reference of picture: http://www.uwcsea.edu.sg

A Force for Good – Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama is one of the spiritual leaders that I respect the most.  He remains compassionate despite of all of the torture inflicted by the Communist Party on the Tibetan people.  His book called A force for good, reminds us about the basic principles of humanity.  We always consume mindlessly without thinking how our decisions impact the world.  We creates violence in the mind and act it out on each other.  The outcome of this chaotic world now is the consequence of our mindless collective awareness. But he reminded us that there is hope if every individual makes the decision to become a force for good.  Our minds are connected and one enlightened mind can bring light to the others.

Check out his book and his website as shown below.

http://www.joinaforce4good.org/

 

392 Relax and Succeed - What is love

The Best Kind of Love for our Children

One of my wise friends said the love needed by our children is from different aspects. Parents can never provide enough love for our children. This advice is very true. 

In order for our children to grow happily, they need the love from parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, and friends. Later, they need the love from their lovers, spouse, colleagues, bosses, etc. The more people love them, the richer their lives will be. As parents, we should accept and appreciate all of the people who genuinely love our children. Parents cannot replace the love from any of these people. So we have to learn to work with them as partners to help bringing up our kids happily. 

Happy Thai Children’s Day everyone!

  

Little kids

I feel so lucky to spend time with children every day as a mom and as an elementary school teacher. Young kids are amazing. They are so present, so pure, and so genuine all the time. They don’t judge. They see things as they are. They see the best in people all the time. They have a gentle heart and they are so open to love all of the living things in nature. They remind me of the good nature that everyone has. 

My children, thanks for teaching me so much every day 🙂 

   
 

True Power

When I contemplate our life conditions deeply, I realize that I have never been truely free and happy because of them. Even though I may have plenty of money, friends, youth, a good career, health, etc, I may still feel dissatisfied.  It’s because all of these conditions are dealt to me by the Universe regardless of my likes or dislikes. And they will be taken away from me one day regardless of my wishes or effort. 

But I feel truely free when I fully accept and open my heart to all life conditions. When I have found my courage to love and learn no matter what conditions I am in, I am truely free and happy. The true power that we have is to make the decision to love in the here and now. A good life is the accumulation of the loving decisions that we make moment by moment. 

  

Awakening

I feel very happy to know one of my friends cured her depression after a mindfulness retreat. I believe in the power of mindfulness can give us a glimpse of the impermanence of pain. When we have experienced the temporary peace at the high concentration level, we gain more faith in the cessation of suffering. It is the glimpse of this possibility that awakens us from a dream. It is always fascinating to witness the beginning of the awakening process. I wish her an exciting new journey.

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